Katie Rucke
Part 3 of 5 in series
Mint Press felt compelled to highlight all of the deaths that have occurred as a result of war, specifically the recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. In Iraq, about 4,500 U.S. soldiers have lost their lives in addition to the some 122,000 Iraqi civilians that were murdered. In Afghanistan, about 2,200 U.S. soldiers have died. And while there is no official single figure for the total civilian deaths in Afghanistan, estimates place the total around 19,000. Mint Press News spoke with five veterans — men, women, gay, straight, those in leadership positions, and those in lower ranks, soldiers who were on the frontlines, and those who were not — about their experience.
In a five-part series, we’re sharing the stories of Leah Bolger, Mike Prysner, Jenny Pacanowski, Wes Davey and Chante Wolf, in order to highlight the largely untold horrors of war that peace options could have prevented.
Jenny Pacanowski:
— Served as an Army medic in Iraq in 2004, and spent all of 2004 as a combat medic doing medical support for convoys in Iraq
— Became a member of Iraq Veterans Against War (IVAW) in 2005
— Active member of Warrior Writers where she works as a Workshop Facilitator and teaches writing workshops.
— Joined military in April 2003 and left in November 2005 after winning a legal battle with the military over her contract, which she says the military breached.
Raised by a father who was a Marine, Pacanowski says when the war in Iraq began, she thought the military was fighting for America’s freedom against terrorists who were attempting to cross U.S. borders. She said after then-President George W. Bush stood on the aircraft carrier and announced the mission was accomplished, she and her father thought it would be safe for her to enlist in the military.
Though she was not a warmonger before joining the military, Pacanowski says she used to believe that there was always a really good reason for war and says she believed in the idea of “winning hearts and minds” in Iraq, but says that’s not what she experienced — partly because those in leadership positions were more concerned about promoting themselves rather than the safety of the troops or sticking up for soldier’s rights.
Pacanowski says after meeting with more pro-peace veterans, she realized that lower-income people end up fighting wars for reasons that are not idealistic, but occur for whatever reason the government needs.
“As I learn more truthful history,” she said, “it really seems that peace is really that cliché answer to solving conflicts … You cause more pain and more violence when you add war,” which is why Pacanowski says those people who support war are not educated.
“They think they are educated,” she said. “Read some history. Put money into the veterans we have before we get more. Clean up the [Veterans Affairs Health Care facilities (VA)] and have excellence in health care like their little motto says.”
While serving in Iraq, Pacanowski worked as a medic health care specialist, and says after spending 12- to 24-hour shifts being shot and mortared at, she would come back to base and be forced to do petty, menial tasks.
Though Pacanowski didn’t speak out against the war while in Iraq, she did speak openly about the poor leadership, which she was reprimanded for pointing out multiple times. “I had one sergeant say that I was a piece of shit and wouldn’t amount to anything,” she said, sarcastically adding that comments like this were helpful in her return back to civilian life.
Pacanowski says how military leaders treat soldiers has compelled her to make a point of telling active duty soldiers that they are not “pieces of shit” or “bad soldiers,” especially when working with those soldiers dealing with the effects of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), sexual trauma, substance abuse or the daily stress of life.
Suffering from PTSD herself, Pacanowski says she has dealt with the trauma and pain by writing poems for pro-peace organizations, like Warrior Writers. One of her favorite pieces, which also happens to be one of her darkest, is called “Parade.” In this poem, Pacanowski writes about suicide and the tragedy that “our warriors [soldiers] can survive war but they can’t come back and survive in our own fucking society.”
One of the big breaking points for Pacanowski was when she was in Mosul, Iraq, and spoke to an Army journalist about what the journalist had worked on that day. The journalist shared with Pacanowski that she had gone to a school opening that day, which Pacanowski says she thought was an awesome example of the community outreach she thought she would have been a part of in Iraq as well. But the Army journalist shared that her experience covering the school was horrifying.
“The U.S. opened a beautiful school with new books, desks, bookbags, soccer balls,” you name it, Pacanowski said. Though the school had more equipment that many in the U.S., the village leaders said they needed more, which Pacanowski says was indicative that the people hated the American presence in their country and wanted the military to leave.
Hearing this story is what prompted Pacanowski to wonder why the U.S. was in Iraq and why people were dying. Though she says it sounds selfish, Pacanowski says she now believes the role of the military should be primarily stateside and says those considering joining the military should consider other options.
“There’s always other options,” she said. “There’s the Peace Corp if you want to travel,” and says those wanting to go to college should just take out a bunch of loans and pay them back.