We expect you to step up your game. It takes a lot for us to start feeling sorry for a cop. We can tell from your last press conference that you’re about as enthusiastic about your job as we are when one of the sheriff’s employees hands us an inedible, green bologna sandwich from Adrian Garcia’s little concentration camp downtown. We can tell you’re not even in the game. Your tone and body language give it away. Don’t let us style on you like this.
We made a fool of you when you decided to pretend that serving coffee out a drive-thru window would undo institutional racism.
But seriously, stop hitting yourself. We’re asking you really hard. We feel like we’re bullying one of the most powerful people in town, but in a way that our feels are starting to hurt for you. They pay you lots of money to be better than this. A little group like us makes no money at all, but we’re victory lapping you in a way that makes us almost feel ashamed for making a fool of you every Saturday, and we do it for the lulz instead of your six digit salary.