On Sunday, May 12, many Americans will celebrate the woman they call Mom as part of Mother’s Day celebrations across the United States. Moms will be treated to flowers, “I heart Mom” coffee mugs, chocolates and cards — but where did this celebration of moms come from? And what kinds of Mother’s Day celebrations occur across the globe?
The first Mother’s Day in the U.S. was organized by Anna Jarvis in 1908 after her mom Ann — an Appalachian homemaker and activist — died in 1905. Legend has it that Anna recalled hearing her mom say during a Sunday school lesson about mothers in the Bible that she hoped and prayed that “someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother’s day.”
Anna began a letter writing campaign hoping to add a day celebrating female achievements to the calendar. By 1912, Mother’s Day events had spread across the country. In 1914, U.S. President Woodrow Wilson declared the second Sunday in May a national holiday to showcase a “public expression of love and reverence for mothers of our country.” Anna later denounced the holiday in 1920 when it became commercialized by florists and greeting card companies, among others, and worked until her death in 1948 to remove Mother’s Day from the calendar.
Historians have traced celebrations of motherhood back to the ancient Greeks and Romans, who honored the mother goddesses, Rhea and Cybele. However, modern-day celebrations of Mother’s Day are largely modeled after the Christian festival known as “Mothering Sunday.” It was on this day, which was held on the fourth Sunday of Lent, that children throughout Europe would return to the main church in their town, called the “mother church,” and present their mothers with flowers and other tokens of appreciations.
Mother’s Day in the United States
While most Americans celebrate Mom on the same day, how Americans choose to honor Mom largely varies. Ben H. says he celebrates Mother’s Day by calling his mom and wishing her a happy day, since he doesn’t get the chance to talk to her every day. Susie Larison is going with her husband and two children to see the Minnesota Twins baseball team play this Mother’s Day, since her relationship with her mom is complicated.
Emily Reimer — a soon-to-be new mom — says she celebrates by going to her mom’s and cooking her whatever she’s craving. After the meal, Reimer says the kids clean up while Mom relaxes. As far as presents go, Reimer says her mom always says, “Don’t give me anything,” but Reimer just can’t resist. This year she’s put together a basket full of Mom-approved items such as cookies, coffee and gardening gloves.
While gifts vary based on a mom’s personality, flowers are one of the top gifts for Mother’s Day, making it the second biggest holiday of the year for the floral industry, right behind Christmas. Traditionally, carnations are supposed to be given out on Mother’s Day — white for mothers who have passed away, and pink for moms who are still alive.
Gifts given to Mom often are based on her personality, but the greeting card industry has yet to capture the diverse roles moms have now in the U.S. “Seventy-nine percent of U.S. households aren’t traditional nuclear families,” said Eveline Shen, executive director for Forward Together, adding that Mother’s Day cards at most drugstores leave out certain demographics such as same-sex, incarcerated, transgender and low-income immigrant mothers.
Still, Mother’s Day is the third-biggest day for card sales in the United States, behind Christmas and Valentine’s Day, with an estimated 141 million cards purchased each year. Shen hopes this will lead to a change, as she says, “Mother’s Day is a celebration of motherhood, in all of its varieties.”
Although Mother’s Day is a national holiday in the U.S., not everyone gets to spend Mother’s Day with their mom. Judy A. works two jobs and says she was never able to celebrate with her mom on Mother’s Day. Now a grandma herself, Judy says she thinks Mother’s Day is a much bigger deal.
“Being a mother’s important, the day isn’t,” she said. “If you’re going to be nice to mom only on one day, forget it.”
While all mother-child relationships have some conflict built into them, Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital, says not everyone has a relationship with mom that calls for celebration. Saltz says if you are estranged from your mother, Mother’s Day provides a good excuse for trying to repair the relationship.
“In some cases, a relationship is so toxic or abusive it is better ended. But there are many more times when that is not the case,” she says. “If, for whatever reason, there has been an evolution into a distance, or else a long-past insult that nobody really cares about anymore, Mother’s Day can allow you to mend that rift.”
Mexico
Mother’s Day arrived in Mexico shortly after it began in the U.S., and was publicized by an article in a government-sponsored newspaper. In the 1940s, Mexico’s First Lady Soledad Orozco de Ávila promoted the day, and in 1942 the Mother’s Day celebrations lasted an entire week. Things have settled a bit now and in Mexico, Dia de las Madres is always celebrated on May 10 — even if it falls on a weekday.
With strong family bonds, this day is particularly important for Mexicans. Hector Gutierrez lives in Minneapolis, but his mom still lives in Mexico. He says Mother’s Day celebrations always begin at midnight and include music. One particular song played by Mariachi bands on this day is the song “Las Manañitas.”
Gutierrez says for families like his who live on a farm in Mexico, other common Mother’s Day activities include drinking tequila and eating homemade dishes, such as carnitas. Children honor their mom with gifts, such as homemade craft projects, boxes of candy or flowers.
Due to the distance between Minnesota and Mexico, Gutierrez says he sent his mom money this year, but says if he were in Mexico he would give his mom “a thousand kisses and hugs.” Gutierrez’ mom lives in a town ravaged by drug war-related violence and says people in the town never know if they’re going to be alive the next day. To add to Gutierrez’s worries, his mom has been battling cancer for the past five years.
If you’re unable to spend Mother’s Day with your mom, due to either distance or death, Saltz says “it’s OK to understand that Mother’s Day isn’t always happy. Acknowledge that you are sad and miss your mother. There’s no need to pretend it is not a melancholy time for you. Nearly everyone whose mother is absent feels bereft.
“Even as you acknowledge that nothing and nobody can replace your mother, if you are a mother yourself, focus on the joy of having your own children. Celebrating your own motherhood will provide solace.”
Thailand
In Thailand, Mother’s Day is a celebration of the birth of the queen, who is considered the “Mother of all Thai people.” The reigning queen, Queen Sirikit, was born on August 12, so Mother’s Day is celebrated that day. When there is a new queen, the day will change.
To celebrate, decorative colorful lights are strung up and there are processions throughout the streets at night. While the celebration is largely about the queen, Thai people also celebrate their own mothers.
Toy M. says it’s local custom for mothers to be presented with jasmine flowers by their children. She says children kneel in the traditional Thai greeting referred to as the “wai,” which consists of a slight bow, with the palms pressed together in a prayer-like fashion. While in the wai greeting, children hand the jasmine flower to their mom, who shares a blessing with each child when she picks up the flower.
Other celebration activities include cooking mom’s favorite food and giving her gifts like clothing.
The Arab world
Mother’s Day was first introduced in the Arab world through Egypt by journalist Mustafa Amin’s book, “Smiling America,” in 1943. Amin reportedly heard about a widowed mother who devoted her entire life to raising her son, who later became a doctor. The woman’s son got married and left his mother without thanking her or showing any sort of gratitude. Amin made it his mission to promote Mother’s Day after hearing the story, and by 1956 he got his wish.
A holiday for mothers became a widespread phenomenon and was celebrated on March 21. Shatha Al-Aswad is the executive director at the Center for Arabic Culture. She said in Arab culture, Mother’s Day is celebrated on March 21 because it’s the first day of spring and moms bring new life into the world.
“Mother’s are highly regarded in the Muslim community,” Al-Aswad said, adding that they are seen as being above heaven.
She added that Mother’s Day celebrations in the Arab community are very similar to traditional American celebrations, the only major difference being the day the holiday falls on.
India
Mothers are revered in Indian culture, but Mother’s Day events are relatively new. Rosin Gladvin says in India the order in which reverence should be offered goes Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam (Mother, Father, Teacher, God). Since the mother gives birth, she comes first. The father comes second because the mother knows him best and can point the child to the father. The teacher comes next as the parents bring the child to the teacher and finally, the teacher points the child to God.
While Mother’s Day events are new, the holiday has become popular in big cities. Sons and daughters give their moms cards and flowers. Some moms in India get treated to a meal at a restaurant, just like in the U.S., but many Indian children honor their mothers by cooking up their favorite dishes themselves.
Gladvin says either he or one of his siblings will take mom out to celebrate for Mother’s Day and buy her a gift such as clothes, but adds that in Indian culture, moms are celebrated every day, not just one particular day.
Hmong culture
Like in India, mother’s are celebrated every day by the Hmong community since mothers give life. Xai Lor of the Hmong Cultural Center in Minneapolis says Hmong culture doesn’t have Mother’s Day celebrations because mothers are seen as an elder in the community and deserve utmost respect.
“Mother is basically everything,” he said, adding that in Hmong culture mothers are often compared to the sky and earth, because “without mother’s we would not be here.” This is why in the Hmong community motherhood is celebrated and respected every day.
While Mother’s Day is not part of Hmong tradition, many Hmong people living in the U.S. have begun to celebrate the holiday, but Lor says it’s only a small group of people. “There are groups of people who will buy flowers or potted plants, take mom out to eat and give her jewelry,” he said.